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IUDM

In IDS on November 17, 2010 at 8:57 am

IUDM coverage was in Monday’s paper, but I still think it’s worth talking about.

I thought Danielle Rindler’s story about Matt Kinser, a former Riley Hospital patient and the son of two IU professors, was really nice. My favorite part: how Danielle handled the quotes.

“You get pregnant, and you get ready to have a baby,” Eric said. “You don’t think something like this is going to happen. We had just found out he was going to be a boy.”

  • There is some foreshadowing built into this quote, but it’s also simple and poignant.

“It sounds crazy, but we had talked about what would happen if he came out and he was blue. Then we didn’t want them to try,” Amy said. “We gave the staff criteria — if he comes out crying, do everything you can.”

And to Amy and Eric’s joy, Matt came out crying.

“We could hear him all the way down the hall,” Amy says.

  • I like that we get a variety of perspectives in this scene. We’re in Amy’s head for the first paragraph. Then we move to seeing Matt crying. Then we’re down the hall with Amy. The tension of whether he’ll come out crying also keeps the story moving.

If I could suggest one change, it would be these paragraphs:

When Amy Kinser went into pre-term labor in her second trimester, the staff at Bloomington Hospital didn’t have a positive outlook.

“One of the nurses told me ‘You’re just going to have to have him and rock him till he passes.’ I said ‘No, we’re going to fight this,’” Amy said.

Would the story have more power if we changed it to:

When Amy Kinser went into pre-term labor in her second trimester, the staff at Bloomington Hospital didn’t have a positive outlook.

“You’re just going to have to have him and rock him till he passes,” a nurse told Amy.

“No,” she said, “we’re going to fight this.”

What do you think? Did the story work for you? What did you think of the IUDM coverage in general?

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